Log in
Close

Online dating christians

other

Meet in a public place. Being cautious can go a long way in preventing injury.

For those considering online dating, I have this advice to help curb some of the risk. Think of it as “Stop, wait for the walk sign, look both ways, make eye contact with drivers, listen’ for the cyber street.

1. So, is it worth the risk?

Not to be coy, but it depends on the risk you are taking. There are some daters who get their dream partner and get married within some months, and there are some who get betrayed by their dating partner and have bitter experiences with the dating sites. Pray. Do not (I repeat: do not) go into this in some Jonah-like attempt to wiggle your way out of where God has you right now. She doesn’t sound extreme to me. I really loved your thoughts about looking in the area you’re in before searching online for dating prospects. So, I think she’s reasonable and logical. What makes the difference? Intent, direction, and caution.

It is not that streets are bad, cars are evil, and every car is out to run them over. According to Match.com, 1 in 5 relationships begin online. Do Not Run Into Traffic. Look around you first. Choosing to date online means navigating a world full of predators, knuckleheads, and potential marriage partners. It didn’t seem like you were saying there more bad or good apples but just to be cautious, prayerful and honest and what you want. The church had a significant singles ministry and many were involved in online dating. Do Not Be You. Yes, be yourself, but do not be you. The problem is, you cannot tell the difference at first.

If we caution our teenagers, children, and young women to stay away from strangers they meet on line, does it then make sense to turn around and encourage them to do just that—meet strangers online?

I have seen both extremes. The reality is, you are meeting a stranger, and as much as you hope this stranger has been as truthful as you have been, there is always that chance they have not. Go with a group if you are more comfortable with that. Date Smarter. Drive separately. They met, married, and had children with stellar men of God that honestly made me step back and ask, “How were these guys still single!?”

Still, it is the Internet. Jessica shares resources and insights from her own journey on the Beggar’s Daughter blog and occasionally travels and speaks on the topic of female lust addiction and how churches can minister to women who struggle. Very much valuable tips on dating! I have read the news stories of girls going missing after meeting up with men they met online. This brings us to the biggest con of online anything:

Extremes on Both Ends

The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children says that 1 in 5 children are sexually solicited online. Give them whatever information you have just in case. It is the next goal in their lives.

However, for every good, godly guy online, there is a bad one. There is no “Well, I plan on dating someone for six years while I finish my Star Wars collection (sorry, guys), master the art of cooking Ramen, and move out of my mom’s basement; then, maybe I will consider marriage.” For the most part, the people on dating sites want to be married—soon. It is better to have no marriage at all than a shell of a relationship built on a sand bar of lies.

4. Please be more accountable with your public blogs, maybe even talk to a few guys before you write again.

Women absolutely need to understand the world as it really is today. Then, I have friends who met their husbands online. Get God involved on the ground level. As a counselor, I see far too many young Christian women who were naive and believed all the best of every guy met, and ended up in terrible, terrible situations.

Young women need to know the truth about what’s out there so they can make good judgments when the time comes. The fact is streets can be dangerous and cars can kill you. She resides just outside of Washington DC where she works as a teacher and serves on the Biblical counseling team in her church. Telling her own story of porn addiction and struggle with lust, Jessica seeks to help other women find hope, healing, and grace. The online dating path is not same for all. If you are in a zone with potential for marriage, look there first before searching online.

3. She’s not saying, “lock yourself in a room and rely on superstitions to get married.” She is also pro-online dating (safely of course), if she were real extreme she wouldn’t even accept the internet as a place to meet men. Limit the number of pictures you use. That’s all.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful tips on how to use an online dating service responsibly. For the most part, the risks of online dating are avoidable. Do not freely give away personal information. Be Yourself. If you are seriously considering marriage, it makes no point to lie. It is wise to be cautious. Plus, marriage is supposed to be taken VERY seriously and, it’s important then to know who you are getting involved with. Still, people lie. This article goes to show that you need to take everything you read online with a grain of salt. Lying about your likes, interests, goals, and passions might seem like a nice way to ‘bait’ someone, but no one likes being tricked. I have experienced first hand how hard it can be to break these stereotypes partly because of irrational comments you are writing about men, why dont you share the “horror” stories of crazy women? He would e-mail them, “Well, that was awkward.” Then, he would block the profile. These men lied about their ages, their locations, and their intentions. One of the men was matched repeatedly with his friends in the singles group. She is the author of Love Done Right: Devos - A Journey From Lust into the Love of God.

I love these wonderful experience.

Do you realize your published blog here is actually creating alot of stereotype and fear for women? Maybe instead of suggesting there are so many bad apples try to be more positive in terms of giving hope that most men dont have the intentions you are suggesting. Connecting with people online has two sides. It’s not paranoia; it’s intelligence.

5. There is always the slight minority that could end up killing me. All too often in Christian culture, young women are told to be sweet and submissive, when in today’s world, they actually need to be wise and discerning as never before, with strong, healthy boundaries and the capacity to say “no” to any and all relationships that they don’t want.

I disagree and thank you for what you did say, because it’s needed and if we pray God will caution us to be patient. I would imagine that one way to help you have a good experience with an online dating service would be to find one that is tailored towards people who share your faith.

thank you for the advise really it help us who are putting our self out there. It is much easier to make unwise decisions when you are making them rashly. Tell people where you are going and what your plans are. Guard your personal contact information carefully. She is simply stating that wisdom is necessary in a world full of evil and, precautions must be taken if one is to date safely. Still, men prey on seemingly desperate women in order to get what they want.

There is no background check verifying all members of Site A are top-quality men (or women for that matter). There are people who open dating profiles only to cheat the desperate women and steal their money by making some emotional drama. be bless

Rightly said! If you do not have peace or, if at any point this becomes an obsession, stop.

2. Put yourself in an environment that discourages things like rape or abduction.

The Internet presents us with many dangers. With prayer, intent, direction, and caution, a person can avoid the dangers and reap the benefits of great friendships and, perhaps, one day, marriage.

About the author, Jessica Harris

Jessica Harris is the founder of Beggar’s Daughter, a ministry dedicated to walking with women who have an addiction to pornography. It could be your worst nightmare or a dream come true. A friend of mine shared a story from one of her previous churches. So, it is always suggested to perform a background check on the person to know the person is genuine and telling truth.

Subscribe to this category: Defeat Lust & Pornography

Latest Posts

Your Brain on Porn

Footer

Enter your email address to get tips, trends, statistics, and support to keep your family safe and your integrity intact online.

Covenant Eyes

5 Tips for Online Dating for Single Christians

There are pros and cons to online dating.

Pro: There are great people online (I have found them, know them, and am one of them).

Pro: For someone immersed in a career or ministry, online dating can open up opportunities that normally would not exist.

Pro: There is intention. So the online daters must move with caution. Thanks again

You make it seem like there are a lot of men out to get women?

I think the author is taking a pretty logical, reasonable view on the subject matter. I would consider myself a decent Christian woman who loves the Lord, so surely there could be decent Christian men on there as well, but not all of them are. So, yes, close the Photoshop. No parent would encourage a child to play in the street, but we do teach children how to walk across the street. Use a screen name that you do not use elsewhere (IM, Facebook, bank account, etc).

Related news

Comments (0)

Navigation